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the golden hum v.4 : art-house sex pistol
subvert the dominant paradigm
08.01.02 | 3:35 a.m.

subj: Steam - The Turkish Bath
re: moral of

Life is not always big and exciting and there are very few happy endings, but if you're lucky, you can be happy for a while before your ending. This is only depressing until you think about it. Even if you die, life goes on; if you're lucky, people will mourn your passing.

Also, hamams are gorgeous inside. Turkish architecture - wow.

I consider myself incredibly lucky; if I die tomorrow, I know that people will cry at my funeral. It's a strangely comforting thought. However, I do not own a hamam of my very own. That upsets me.

Tapas are excellent. As is flan.

Dear Cassandra and her Prohibition-era attitude towards ingesting anything alcoholic irritates me. She seems incapable of seeing the difference between alcoholism (her baka family) and drinking responsibly once in a pink-speckled toad (me).

[Five minutes later]

I think we're falling apart. It had to happen eventually, I guess, but ... It still hurts. I must have loved her, in some crazy, screwed-up way. The barely-veiled sarcasm, the coldness, the - god! - one-word responses to everything I say ... it's getting a bit wearing. I'm sure she has reason, because I'm sure I've been absolutely horrible to her at one point or another. I say she can tell me if she's mad. She says she's not mad. It really sounds like she is, though, and I can't stand it when people won't communicate. Bottling of emotions just pisses me off; just tell me if you're pissed and I will do my best to fix it. If you don't tell me ... you see the problem. This is why I try never to pull any of that "if-you-don't-know-I'm-not-telling-you" crap. However, screaming "Agh! Jesus! Pressure!" Tweek-style probably wouldn't help, either.

Oy.

Rob = poopyhead. I have no conscious, logical idea why. It's just a feeling that I get whenever I think or talk to or about him. It's ... odd. I don't like it. Can't I just like him again? That was easier.

I've got writer's block.

Keep on subverting the dominant paradigm, y'all.

-mercy

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